Hi,
It took me 16 years to complete this incredible work of art due to the sheer importance of the topics at hand. I always knew I'd eventually perfect the skill of creating the best music that has ever been flushed down anyone's ear sewers and I've done just that. Within a mere 192 months, I've successfully created four of the most intelligently crafted, musically satisfying, and downright erotic tunes that have ever pummeled an ear drum. People across the globe have been begging me for the "jesus made earthworms just so they'd wiggle" release since 1966, which was the year Doritos were created. They'd always ask "Please, Swiss Aromatherapy, will you record and release your marvelous song about the type of chewing gum that we can chew without worrying about spending an eternity burning in hell?". Some would even go as far as gifting me bags of scratched-up marbles and spandex toe socks imported from Antarctica in hopes that I'd finally buckle down on finishing the masterpiece you hear before you. I've literally had a few dudes and a bald eagle swoop up to me yelling "USA! USA! USA!" while spitting tobacco into their plastic bottles and deep down I knew what they were trying to conjure and that was the second track that can easily make a full grown ostrich feel like an eaglet with higher energy levels than a raging bull has right after it wakes up from a power nap at about midday beside a bush next to a haunted outhouse that's usually out of paper. I don't want to talk this collection of music up too much or seem too arrogant and overconfident but what I'm really trying to express is that pretty much any of the music that you've ever heard simply cannot compare to this release. Yeah, there are some neat songs out in the world, but that's honestly all they ever were, just gimmicky cookie cutter BS a 3 year old could write in their uncle's basement with a melodica and a triangle they bought at a yard sale in Egypt after a Bon Jovi concert they went to with their infant cousin, Claudine. This music isn't like that. It's real and has the catchiest, coolest, and most good songs you'll ever put in your side-of-the-head wonder funnels.
With modesty and sincerity,
SWISS AROMATHERAPY
Other tags I wanted to add but couldn't: land of the sprees no home for the gays, sad as heg, hail satan, christian mingle, beanbag chairs on a thursday evening, carrot juice and kale chips, cute bumblebees are so much cooler than any politician ever, spearmint, dandruff, psoriasis, bon jovi, a walk to remember soundtrack, obi wan kenobi, random bird that flies by looking extremely majestic and charming, handlebar mustaches, aids, toenail clipping stuck in sock and you're halfway to town, knitting
